Infernal - Страница 60

But a deeper, nonrational part of him refused to believe that he wouldn't be here with Gia and Vicky tomorrow night.

"I can hope, can't I? But just in case it does happen, I want you to have this stuff to dip into whenever you need to… till I come back."

He felt her shoulders quake. He had to snap her out of this. He knew she'd keep up a front for her daughter.

"Let's round up Vicky and get down to Amalia's before she starves."

Gia broke away and wiped her eyes.

"This isn't like me."

"Well, you've never been in this kind of situation before."

"Neither have you."

Not quite true. Jack had been in situations where he hadn't known whether he'd live or die. But those had been different. In those his survival depended on his actions: Make the right move, survive; make the wrong move, gone.

But this… he had no moves, no choices, no decision, no wiggle room. An iron straitjacket.

"Yeah, well… I'm a tough guy, remember?"

Not so tough that he didn't dread dinner with Vicky tonight. Because in the next hour or two he'd have to tell her he was going away.

-11:23

Jack was glad he didn't have to describe his feelings as he watched Vicky work on her mussels in garlic and wine sauce. He had no words for them. And he'd never be able to get them past his locked throat anyway.

Amalia's… an unpretentious, eons-old, storefront restaurant in Little Italy with red-and-white-checkered tablecloths over long tables for eating family style. Mama Amalia, older than the restaurant, loved Vicky and had greeted her with the usual fanfare—two-cheek air kisses and loud proclamations of what a beautiful child she was. Gia and Jack were an afterthought as she placed them all at a table near the window. No mystery why this was Vicky's favorite.

And here she was, attacking her favorite dish.

As Jack watched her work through the huge platter, pausing only for a sip of Limonata while she arranged the empty shells into an interlocking daisy chain, he couldn't help thinking of the old Squeeze song.

He sipped a glass of Valpolicella and poked at a bowl of sauteed broccoli rabe and sausage. Gia had ordered a tricolore salad and a Limonata but had touched neither.

A night out at Amalia's had always been a festive occasion for the three of them, with mmmms and aaaahs about the delights of this or that. But for Gia and him tonight, it might have been a funeral.

Funeral… got to be a better word than that.

He opened his mouth, then closed it. He glanced at Gia, saw her watching him. She reached out and squeezed his hand.

Her voice was barely audible as she cocked her head toward Vicky. "Want me to—?"

He shook his head. "I need to."

He took a deep breath.

"Hey, Vicks? I need to talk to you about something."

She didn't look up from working on a mussel that hadn't completely opened.

"Uh-huh?"

"I have to go away for a while."

Now she looked up. "Where?"

"Far away."

"Yeah, but where?"

"It's a place called Shangri-La."

It was the best he could come up with. He knew she'd never seen Lost Horizon, and if and when she did she'd think it was a real place.

"Is that like Tralla-La?"

That threw Jack. "Tralla—?"

"You know—in that Uncle Scrooge comic book."

Didn't she forget anything? He'd given her that over a year ago.

"Something like that."

"Where's this Shalla-La at?"

Jack had to smile. Sounded like a Van Morrison song.

"Shangri-La. It's on the other side of the world. Near China."

"Wow. How come you're going there?"

"I have to visit some people."

She went to work on another mussel.

"When are you leaving?"

Now the hard part: "Tomorrow morning."

Her face tilted up, frowning. "But that's… tomorrow's Christmas Eve. Are you going to miss Christmas?"

He nodded. "I'm afraid so."

Her frown deepened. "Can't you go after?"

"I wish I could." He shook his head. "You don't know how much I wish I could."

"But… how long you gonna be gone, Jack?"

"I'm not sure."

"A long time?"

He nodded. "Maybe."

Gia sniffed and Vicky looked at her. No way she could miss her mother's red, teary eyes. She turned back to Jack with a narrowed gaze.

"Is there another woman?"

Jack let out a guffaw. He couldn't help it. He glanced at Gia and even she was smiling.

"That's why I love you, Vicks. You never fail to surprise me."

"Well, is there?"

"No. There'll never be another woman. Your mommy is it for me. Forever and ever."

She looked at Gia. "Then why're you crying, Mom?"

"Because I'm sad to see Jack go. I don't want him to, but… he has to."

Vicky trapped Jack with her blue gaze. Her lower lip began to tremble.

"You're coming back, aren't you, Jack? You're coming back, right?"

Time to lie.

"Of course I'm coming back."

"When?"

"The absolute soonest I can. I swear on a stack of Bibles."

She must have sensed something because she dropped her fork and began to cry.

"Please don't leave!"

"Now listen, Vicks—"

"You're not coming back! I just know it!"

Jack froze his expression to hide his surprise.

Out of the mouths of babes…

-11:08

Tom couldn't sit still.

Twenty seconds after he'd settled himself on the couch he'd be up and pacing until he perched on the edge of a chair, only to be up and moving about half a minute later. He tried watching television—no good.

Wherever he went, Gia's voice followed him.

Do you have any idea what you've done to our lives? Not just Jack's but to Vicky's and mine?

He remembered the light in her eyes, the look on her face on the way home from the opera when she'd talked about Jack being a rock in her life. And Tom wondered… had anyone ever looked like that when they'd spoken of him? Had he ever been a rock in anyone's life?

Who was he kidding? No need to wonder. The answer was no.

He needed something to settle his nerves.

Jack didn't seem to drink anything but beer, and that wouldn't do it. So he hunted through the kitchen cabinets until he came upon a bottle of amber liquid.

Hey. Old Pulteney eighteen-year-old single malt. He'd have preferred vodka—ideally Grey Goose or Level—but this was all right. More than all right. When it came to scotch, Jack stocked the good stuff.

Tom poured a couple of fingers' worth into a tumbler and tossed it down. After savoring the burn, he poured himself a second dose. This he drank slowly, sipping and thinking about his life and the mess he'd made of it. He ranged over possible ways to turn things around and extricate himself, but came up empty.

By the time he'd finished his second glass he knew scotch wasn't going to do the trick. Not even close.

He needed something more potent. A lot more potent.

He dug out his wallet and found Kamal's phone number. Time for another run uptown.

Before leaving he took a peek into Jack's room.

"Oh, shit."

The Lilitongue was gone.

-8:16

"Is she asleep?" Jack said.

Gia disengaged herself from him and leaned over Vicky, curled under a blanket at the far side of the couch.

"Uh-huh. She's out."

"Okay, I'll carry her up—"

Gia laid a hand on his arm. "Let her stay with us."

Jack nodded in the semidarkness. "I'd like that."

He'd brought along a selection of movies to have something to do other than sit and count the minutes. Classics. Films they could all watch. And, for obvious reasons, no horror.

They'd let Vicky pick the first. No surprise, she chose King Kong because it was the colorized version.

Like most kids her age, she'd had almost no exposure to black-and-whites and didn't like them. Except for King Kong. She'd cried at the end of her first viewing and for days afterward went around the house repeating in a perfect imitation of Robert Armstrong's delivery, "Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes… it was beauty killed the beast."

That had inspired Jack to hunt down a copy of Turner's colorized version. He considered himself something of a purist when it came to movies, especially ones he liked, so the idea of tinting and tinkering with a classic offended him. But mildly. The world offered a wide array of far more important issues to get crazy about.

Yet when he watched it with Vicky he'd had to admit that it was kind of nice to see a blue ocean and a green jungle. And Vicky had loved it. What could be more important than that?

"What should we watch next?"

Gia clung to him. "Why don't we just sit here."

"We can do that. But I'd rather not feel like a condemned man waiting for the executioner to knock on the door."

"It's not going to happen," Gia said. "That's the only way I can get through tonight. Just keep telling myself it's not going to happen… it's not going to happen… and maybe if I repeat it enough times, it won't."

Jack searched for something to do, something to say to ease her pain.

"Got as good a chance as anything else."

Crummy, but the best he could come up with. She snaked her arms around him and squeezed.